Posted: January 23, 2009 in everyday life

We have settled into a little routine in our house.  I take care of the kids from when they get out of school until Neil comes down from work (he works from home). My time usually involves homework, making dinner, keeping the kids entertained (or yelling at them to entertain themselves), etc.  Typical mom stuff.  Now mind you I’m not complaining, I enjoy it, but being a full time student, I gotta have some me time to do homework, catch up on email and scrap.  So when daddy/hubby comes down we eat dinner and mommy disappears into her computer/scraproom/studio to do whatever I have to do.  He’s wonderful with the kids.  This is his time to finish up any homework they needed help with.  He also  reads with them, plays video games and gets them ready for bed.   Lately I’ve noticed that during this time there’s alot of yelling.  I’m not going to lie, I’m a big yeller.  Always have been. I’ve always counted on Neil to take on the calm, non yelling role in the house.  Lately he seems to have taken on more of my persona and being less patient.  Now mind you, his impatient is still better then my patient  but some night he yells, the kids yell, everyone’s  yelling.  Then if it gets bad enough, I storm out of the room and yell at him for yelling at the kids.  It seems to be happening more and more lately. This has got to stop.  I kind of pointed out this destructive pattern to him recently and he was honestly surprised.  I don’t think he even realizes how much he does it.  It’s amazing how destructive behavior slowly becomes the norm if left unchecked.  So we are both working on it and working with the kids to teach them better ways to express themselves.   I think the trick is to approach it as constructive criticism.  I need to tell him in ways that don’t make him defensive and he needs to take my words as constructive and not take it personally.  It’s hard but hopefully are love will help us through this very trying time.

  1. Kimberkv says:

    Well, you know, they say the longer you are married to someone, the more like them you become. Perhaps you are becoming the calmer one and he the yeller. Hopefully you can both find a happy medium! Good luck!


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